True Connection in the Classroom: Student Engagement Strategies that Work
It’s clear that the world needs passionate, caring, effective, and engaged teachers more than ever. High school students today desperately need the knowledge and skills that English teachers can give, but it’s becoming harder than ever for them to focus, connect to their intrinsic curiosity, and stay engaged in class. This is only exacerbated by AI taking over some of the valuable learning that needs to happen in English classrooms
I’ve been reading Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté, which is primarily about how to maintain and restore healthy attachment in our children. I have been struck by how the authors emphasize the important role that teachers can and need to fulfill in the attachment needs of children.
If you’re looking for practical ways to build authentic teacher-student relationships, improve student engagement in your classroom, and conquer classroom management for good, these strategies will help. They are simple, research-backed, and adaptable for any high school English classroom.
Why Teacher-Student Relationships Matter
Neufeld and Maté’s basic premise is that our society today pushes children away from their parents at a young age, valuing independence in all things. This disturbs their primary attachment relationship to their parents and transfers their desire for strong attachment to their peers.
They extrapolate on this idea throughout the book, detailing the ways in which this is detrimental to the healthy growth of children and the relationship between parents and children. I won’t detail the whole book here (but highly recommend it), but essentially, if teachers want to be effective with students experiencing disruption in their primary attachment (and to be most effective with all students), they need to prioritize connection, safety, and authentic relationships.
Students need to feel seen, valued, and safe in our classrooms in order to learn to their full capacity. But easier said than done, right?
How Can Students Connect to You as Their Teacher?
In order to feel safe in a classroom community, students need to register you as a distinct, positive presence. If they don’t, they won’t see you as someone worth their attention.
One strategy I’ve used is taking time at the beginning of every class for a quick question that gently reveals something about themselves. This can feel small, but it’s one of the simplest and most effective student engagement strategies.
Examples of “metaphor yourself” questions:
If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be and why?
If you were a magical power, what magical power would you be and why?
What planet in our solar system do you identify most with?
If you were an item at a gas station, what would you be and why?
By looking in each student’s eye as they respond—and sharing in laughter if they make a joke or in commiseration if they share something serious—you’re building the kind of teacher-student relationship that makes learning possible.
If you want a premade unit that this practice is built into, I have a full novel study unit of Red Rising by Pierce Brown that also fits perfectly with the next tip to teach what you love.
Related Post: From Rebellion to Relevance: Using Red Rising to Spark Real-World Conversations
Share What You Love: Give Students Something to Attach To
Students also need to know you in order to attach to you. You don’t have to share everything, but sharing your enthusiasm for books, poetry, and ideas you love is one of the best classroom management strategies for student engagement.
Every time I tried to teach something I was less invested in, my students were also much less invested. But when I taught texts I was obsessed with (like Red Rising), my enthusiasm was contagious.
One of my other favorite things to teach is poetry with the Poetry Unbound podcast. I love poetry, but honestly, you don’t have to to love this podcast. The host is amazing at connection and the analysis he provides is so intriguing. I have a full mini unit using this podcast, if you want a place to get started.
Whatever you decide to use, I highly recommend looking at whatever you are obsessed with in your life and bringing it into the classroom. You can teach anything and make it meaningful to students if you give it some thought!
Related Posts: Teaching with Personality: How to Use Pop Culture, Music, and Gaming to Engage Students in High School English and The Easiest Way to Teach Poetry To High School Students (That They Will Actually Love)
Invite Dependence in Healthy Ways
While we want students to grow into independent thinkers, students learn best when they trust they can depend on you as their teacher.
This means they:
feel comfortable in your presence.
understand that mistakes are part of the process.
know they won’t be ridiculed by peers in your class.
see that you will take time to help them when they’re struggling.
A practical way to build this trust: hold one-on-one essay or project conferences at least once a semester. Yes, it takes time, but the return is huge. Students walk away knowing that you see them and are invested in their learning.
Why Orientation Builds Trust
This may be the simplest step: students learn better when they know where they’re headed. Daily agendas, unit outlines, and project roadmaps aren’t just organizational tools—they’re ways of providing emotional and cognitive safety.
When students know what to expect, their brains can relax enough to engage with the harder thinking we ask of them.
(If you’re curious about how this connects to the AI conversation, check out my post onWhat Do High School English Students Actually Need to Learn in the Age of AI?. Both pieces work hand-in-hand to help you create an AI-proof classroom built on discussion, curiosity, and trust.)
Final Thoughts
Our students deserve us at our best. And what is our best but connecting deeply with the young people in front of us—helping them build both academic skills and life skills?
If you want more practical, ready-to-use tools for building connection and engagement, explore my Poetry Unbound Mini Unit or Red Rising Unit. Both are designed to help you foster authentic relationships while teaching rigorous, discussion-rich literature.
Frequently Asked Questions About Building Classroom Connection
Why are strong teacher-student relationships important in high school?
Strong teacher-student relationships help students feel safe, valued, and motivated to learn. When students feel connected to their teacher, they are more likely to participate, take risks in their learning, and engage with challenging material.
What are the best strategies for building classroom community in high school?
Connection doesn’t have to take away from learning. Quick “get to know you” questions, short daily check-ins, and consistent routines can be done in under five minutes but have a lasting impact on student engagement and classroom community.
How can teachers create student engagement on the first day of school?
Start with simple activities like metaphor questions (e.g., “If you were a color, what would you be and why?”) or weekend reflections. Pair this with sharing a bit about yourself—your favorite book, a hobby, or why you love teaching English. This sets the tone for a reciprocal, trusting classroom right from day one.
How can high school teachers connect with students without oversharing?
You don’t need to reveal personal details to build relationships. Share your enthusiasm for literature, your love for a certain poem, or your excitement for a class project. Students connect more with your passion and consistency than with your private life.
What can teachers do when students resist engagement activities?
Consistency is key. At first, some students may roll their eyes or give short answers. But when you model vulnerability, answer the questions yourself, and continue the practice, students usually open up over time.
How does building connection help make classrooms AI-proof?
AI can write essays and answer comprehension questions, but it can’t replace authentic human relationships. When your classroom is built on discussion, trust, and personal connection, students stay invested in the learning process rather than outsourcing their work. (For more on this, see my post: What Do High School English Students Actually Need to Learn in the Age of AI?)
What resources help teachers build student engagement and connection?
For no-prep lessons that naturally foster connection and discussion, check out my Poetry Unbound Mini Unit. If you’re looking for a novel that builds instant buy-in and engagement, explore my Red Rising Unit.